I Have Lost Myself

I Have Lost Myself
I Have Lost Myself

Watch it here: Youtube –   I Have Lost Myself

VimeoI Have Lost Myself

If memory is the core of our identity, what happens to our sense of self when it is lost?

“The more I performed as my mother the more I became her.

I am slowly losing myself just as my mother is losing herself.

I’m taking on my mother’s identity by performing her, by caring for her and writing about her. By shooting a film a day I’m forced to film when I don’t always want to.”

I Have Lost Myself are the words spoken by Doctor Alzheimer’s first diagnosed patient with Alzheimer’s disease.  When my mother was diagnosed I became her full-time carer.

The Manchester School of Art MFA Photography (2017) multi-channel video and sound installation, I Have Lost Myself and Give Me the Key, is a powerful and disturbing compilation from 300+ videos, depicting the raw and honest portrait of living with dementia and the blurring of artist process.

I Have Lost Myself documents the daily rehearsals and technical experiments of Give Me the Key, filmed daily over thirty days for a future live art performance. What unfolds is the colliding of performance and the every day as the artist slowly loses her sense of self.

I Have Lost Myself is a powerful and disturbing statement on family relationships and responsibility, where art and the every day inevitably collide.

I Have Lost Myself – HD Video, 28:09 minutes, color/sound


Saudade: American by Ginger Liu at Manchester MMU Art Show

Saudade American: Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee
Saudade American –  Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee

Location: Venice High School, Venice, California. The exterior used for Rydell High in the 1978 film, Grease.

Portrait composite shot at GLIUSTUDIO in Hollywood.

Wardrobe: 1970s-80’s pink prom dress.

Photography, lighting, make-up, wardrobe, and performance by Ginger Liu

Ginger Liu

Saudade: American

Saudade is a Portuguese term for a deep melancholic longing or nostalgia for a person, place or time that has gone forever.

American is a portrait of an inveterate exploration into an identity which is defined by an intangible cultural heritage. The Saudade is for the loss of an imagined life.

I was born in the United States and grew up in England and have lived my adult life, equally between two countries. By reconstructing the past using the family album and archives, autobiographical memory, familiar and popular culture, oral and national history, I (re)invent the past using self-portraiture and digitally manipulated photographs to explore perceptions of memory, identity, and multiculturalism.


Digital Image Composite
Location: Venice High School, Los Angeles (external school shot location for the 1977 movie, Grease)
Composite: Hollywood
Wardrobe: Pink lace full-length prom dress

Ginger Liu

MA Show
30 September – 8 October 2016

Fri 30 Sep- Sat 8 Oct (Private viewing on Thu 29 Sep, 5.30pm-8.30pm), Manchester Art, MMU, Cavendish Street, Manchester, M15 6BR, 0161 247 1751, Mon-Fri: 10am-6pm, Sat: 10am-4pm, closed Sun 2 Oct, FREE,